How Did I End Up With a Teenage Daughter?

I’m diverting a little of my normal writing to pause and reflect a bit as a momentous occasion occurs in the life of one of my children.  This Friday, my daughter, Alison, will turn 13.  Truthfully, she’s mature and wise beyond her years-she’s been a teenager in many ways for awhile, and that scares me at times.  I’m not sure where time has gone;  it seems that one day she was this cute little toddler following her brother around the house, having him read books to her, and the next, she was a cell phone-toting guitar player and all-around social butterfly.  Her talent makes dad pretty proud.  Here’s a recent video clip:

Ali- “Rocketeer”

and one of her and her friends singing the national anthem at the Women’s Division II Basketball Semi-finals:

A team anthem

Alison with her new braces

Alison with her new braces

I tried to recall my 13th birthday- that would have been August in 1982.  I was just beginning my 8th grade year.  School might have started that day, it often was a “great” birthday present for me.  I’m sure it was a big day, but I don’t remember any details about that day.  I know I had grown 6 inches between 7th and 8th grade, so I’m sure my knees hurt.  I also was preparing to have surgery on a hernia that the doctor found when I got my sports physical, making me unable to play football in 8th grade.  I served as the team manager that year, so I could still be around the team and throw a football around at practice.  Times have changed- not sure many kids who were used to being one of the best athletes would agree to be a manager now.  I’m sure that Duran Duran, Def Leppard, Van Halen, and Michael Jackson were getting equal play time in my tape recorder.  Saturday Night Live was probably my favorite TV show, that and Friday Night Videos.  Again, I don’t remember the details, just a large “overall feeling” of that time.

Ali being a goofball at Christmas 08

Ali being a goofball at Christmas 08

Lots of things were still ahead of me at that point, just like they are now for Ali.  I think of all the things I hadn’t experienced yet at that point in life:

  • my first serious girlfriend
  • success and failure athletically
  • losing a grandparent
  • my dad losing his job and being in the hospital
  • dating my future wife
  • becoming a father

I know that those happy things in life and those equally difficult ones lie ahead for her.  Part of the hard part of being a parent is knowing when to help her through and knowing when she needs to deal with them on her own.  I’m an admittedly emotional person when it comes to sentimental things.  I know that I’ll cry on her wedding day.  I know that I’ll cry the day she leaves home.  Why wouldn’t I, I cried the day she was born.  Two songs were playing on TV while she was being born: Garth Brooks “The River” and Shania Twain “Love Gets Me Everytime”- the line about “gone and done it”.  Often, Ali makes me think that we’ve “gone and done it” when I get frustrated with her making normal 12 year-old mistakes.  Guess I’ll just have to get used to the teenage ones now 🙂

Me and the kids in the summer of 06

Me and the kids in the summer of 06

Happy birthday, baby girl.  I know you will “sail your vessel til the river runs dry” in a way like none other.  I hope we’ve given you the right life lessons on how to keep it between the shores.  Enjoy this time in life.  It goes by faster than you can imagine.  I hope you are more able to remember the details than your old man.  You probably won’t remember what gifts you get, or maybe even what you did for this birthday, but always remember this “overall feeling” about your 13th birthday; your dad loves you very much.

6 thoughts on “How Did I End Up With a Teenage Daughter?

  1. This one brought a tear to my eye as I reflected on the bond I have with my own father as well as with my children. Fathers and daughters have a special connection–one that will last a lifetime.

    Happy birthday to your daughter.

  2. Wow… how wild is it that educators are indeed humans?

    I loved this one. I was pretty blown away by how much they’d grown up the last time I saw them in person… watching the videos was even crazier. I just remember them as pretty much toddlers. Wow.

    And hey, way to use the nautical reference at the end. Awesome. And hey, I like it that you might be the one male I know who is possibly mushier than I am about this sort of thing. Thanks for making me feel less “fringe.” 😉

  3. Robert,
    This was a great post because I think so many parents can identify with the feelings you expressed. I was amazed to see your daughter singing and playing the guitar in her room – she was wonderful, especially considering how young she is. It’s a good reminder to appreciate every moment we have with our little children 🙂

    Happy birthday Ali

  4. I wonnnderrrr–where did that girl get her talent? Wow-she’s good! And just let me say this about daughters-they are the best! And fathers who dote over them are just as amazing! Congratulations on having two great kids!
    Kris

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