I Blinked…

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I can remember it as vividly as if it just happened yesterday. My wife woke me from a deep sleep and told me she was having contractions and that I should probably go take a shower, she thought it was time to go to the hospital. She seemed pretty calm and led me to believe it was not necessarily urgent, but it was time to get around to head that way.

Ali and Skip, Christmas 2015

Ali and Skip, Christmas 2015

While I was in the shower, she said “Don’t piddle in there, I think we need to get moving.”  Suddenly things seemed much more urgent, especially since we lived about 30 minutes from the hospital. We got in the car, met my in-laws at the hospital where they took our son Alex, and headed in. Barely 30 minutes later, as the songs “Gone and Done It” by Shania Twain and “The River” by Garth Brooks played, Alison Marie completed our family. Literally, it feels like I blinked and the time has flown as my baby girl turns 18 Friday.

Alex and Ali Puerto Vallarta, Mexico 2014

Alex and Ali Puerto Vallarta, Mexico 2014

I haven’t blogged for nearly 2 years, but I felt this occasion deserved a post- and so much more. As a daughter, Ali has been such a gift from God. She is smart, funny, talented, wise beyond her years, and best of all, I think she still likes me most days.  As a parent, we always love our kids and vice versa, but some days I’m not sure we “like’ each other.  I’ve been lucky in that even as we prepare to send her off to college in a few months, we like each other most days. As much as I know she’s ready for the next phase of life, and that her mom and I are, too- when I pause, the memories flood my mind. The memories of taking her to dance (which she hated) and to gymnastics (which she loved). The memories of us laying in bed, laughing…just because the other one was laughing..and then not being able to stop. Her playing with Skip. The sounds of her singing and playing her guitar or keyboard from the other room. The memories at Disney, in Minnesota, in Colorado,in California, and most of all, in Mexico.  She is my kindred spirit when it comes to our love of the beach. One day in Mexico, she told her older brother, “Come on, we are going to go make friends.”  I knew then and there that she was going to be okay in life. I can’t even begin to tell you how much I’m going to miss watching KU basketball or Chiefs games with her.

Ali and me at Chiefs game, 2015

Ali and me at Chiefs game, 2015

As I write this, I need to make sure Ali knows how much I love her and how I can’t imagine our lives without her. When I said she completed our family, that wasn’t just a phrase.  It was so true. She is the moderator when things are tense, the funny comment when people are down, and has such a good caring heart, that I often wonder how she could be from my genes.  It must be her mother’s genes taking over. I know that she is a far better person than I am, and I aspire to be like her many days.

As much as she has it “all together”, I can’t pass up this opportunity to offer advice. I won’t go on and on, but will offer just a few nuggets:

  • Call your Mom after you move out.  A lot. She and your Dad need you more than we will ever admit.
  • Keep your good relationship with your brother.  Someday Mom and I won’t be here.  You two will need each other, even if it requires you to nag him a bit.
  • No matter what happens in life, keep your kind heart and your caring spirit for other people and animals. Being nice is a lost art.  You are good at it. There is a Tim McGraw song called “Humble and Kind”. Stay that way.
  • Don’t regret in life.  Make decisions based upon the best information you have at the time, but don’t regret things in the past.  It’s a wasted emotion. Instead, use it to guide later decisions.
  • Never stay with a man who doesn’t treat you like the most important person in the world. You deserve to be loved by someone who feels that way about you. I hope I’ve modeled that for you with your Mom.
  • Don’t stop singing. Whether as a hobby or something else, your gift is the soundtrack to so many good times in my life. It makes your Dad so happy to hear you singing.

I’ll close by wishing you a happy birthday. I know your life is going to change in so many ways over the next year. I am so excited about what the future holds for you, even as I am a little sad that our time together is drawing to a close. As a good friend once told me, I won’t lose you, our relationship will just evolve into something a little different. And I know that will still be something really good. I just have to be careful to not blink so I don’t miss it. Love you more than you could ever know. Dad.

Our first Mexico trip

Our first Mexico trip

“Boy,” I’m Gonna Miss You

Sitting on my back deck tonight, I’ve finally made myself sit down and write a post I’ve been putting off for a long time. 18 years ago tonight, my wife and I went to bed like we had many times, but it would be the last time it was just the two of us.  As my wife showered prior to a doctor appointment the next morning, her water broke. By 3:30 that afternoon, my life was forever changed, as Alex Christopher came into our lives.

My "Boy"

My “Boy”

I’d planned to write this post before his graduation in May.  I couldn’t ever make myself do it. A part of me wants to put it off until he leaves for college in about 5 weeks. I know in my heart I’m just putting off the inevitable. I know there are thoughts I want to put down because a part of me worries that I haven’t told him all I want to tell him before I send him out as an adult. At the same time, I know he is so ready for the next phase of life. That being said, this post is for you, Alex. In it, I want to share some of my favorite memories and then a few pieces of advice. I hope you take them all with a grain of salt, knowing that many of these may make more sense a few years from now than they do today.

It’s hard for me to list just a few memories, there are so many good ones.  I’ll try to share a few that stand out to me, and I hope they are good ones for you, too.

Snorkeling, Cozumel, Mexico 2010

Snorkeling, Cozumel, Mexico 2010

1) Learning to ride your bike in the church parking lot. You were not what one would call a “daredevil”, but you kept at it and became more confident with practice.  Your sister was not so cautious, and I can remember rides with you calling out to her to slow down and not go so fast. I like how you still look out for her to this day.

2) For this one I’ll combine a few, as the theme of the memories are similar.  They are the first times I saw a competitive “fight” in you during athletic competitions. I’ll always remember a baseball game in King City in which you pitched in a close game and got a big strikeout, and you pumping your fist as you came off.  I can see it like it was yesterday. I also remember a summer swim meet in Kansas City when you were probably 11 or 12 and you won the 100 IM and almost puked afterwards. Or the time you tied for the last finals spot at KC Center and had to do a swim off, only to be beaten by .01. I saw you push through tough times in all of those situations, and I believe you got important life lessons out of sports in those instances. I loved watching you compete.

3) In 8th grade, you decided to do the play instead of track. I can’t remember the name of your character, but I got to see a whole different side of you as you played that part. It was cool to see the young man you were becoming and I just remember being really proud of you.

4) I could list so many swim memories- probably because we spent so many hours with you at meets. A few stand out in my mind. Your day at Mizzou your senior year was such an awesome day. It was a testament to your years of hard work and it was amazing to watch you compete at such a high level. I’m so glad Mom took that picture of me talking to you over the rail at the end of the meet.It’s one of my favorite pictures ever of us, and I’ll always cherish it.

After the MU meet

After the MU meet

Seeing you break the school record at Henley and the look on your face. Priceless.

After breaking the school record in the backstroke

After breaking the school record in the backstroke

And last but certainly not least, watching you at State your senior year. Watching you process the finality of it all, while I was trying to do the same. Swim has given us so many good memories, and you take with you that ability to focus and work hard towards a goal. I’m thankful you found that outlet for your talents.

Alex's tweet after State

Alex’s tweet after State

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

5) The variety show your senior year. If you had told me your freshman year that by your senior year you would be singing a solo and playing the piano, I would have been skeptical. You have grown in both talent and confidence as a singer, and I’m so glad you have had that creative “place” to share those. I love that your stress reliever is to play the piano in your room. That’s how your Grandpa Sigrist used to “wind down”, as well. It’s cool for me to see that pass on to the next generation.

Graduation Day

Graduation Day- Joel Goller photographer

6) Graduation. I’ve never been prouder to be your Dad. Being able to give you diploma to you was one of the moments in my life I will always cherish the most.  Thank your for being such a fine example of a scholar-athlete and representing yourself, your school, and your family in such an outstanding way. Thank you for letting me be part of that special day.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

While those are great memories, I feel that on the day you can legally buy cigarettes (I suggest NEVER) and lottery tickets (I suggest great moderation) and can vote (pick the best candidate, not the party), I should give you a few pieces of advice that I hope you take with you to college and on into life.

8) Be nice to people. This seems simple, but so many people seem to struggle with this in life. John Wooden said something along the lines of you can never have a perfect day unless you have done something for someone who can never repay you. Be nice, it’s a disappearing skill.  It really does come back to you.

7) Read. Read as an escape. Read to improve yourself. There are so many great authors (Wooden would be on that list) that can help give you perspective on life. I know it will be tough in college, but incorporate it into your life beyond school.

6) Call your Mom. Or text her. Not a lot, but once in awhile. While we know you don’t need us, we still WANT to be needed. This advice is the same whether you are 18 or 28 or 50.

Kimberly and Alex

Kimberly and Alex

5) Always love your sister. I’m so happy that you two have such a close relationship. Work to keep it that way. Some day Mom and I will be gone and it will be up to you two to tell the stories of how we did something goofy or just recall a good memory.  You will need each other some day. It may be just to talk to someone that isn’t your parent or colleague, or it may be to decide what to do with Mom or Dad’s living arrangements. You will need each other.  Love her. Always.

Alex and Ali Puerto Vallarta, Mexico 2014

Alex and Ali Puerto Vallarta, Mexico 2014

4) Find a girl who loves you as much as your Mom and I love each other. I know you’ve heard my mantra about the two most important choices in life: what you do for a paycheck and who you spend your life with. I’m not worried about that first one for you, you are going to have lots of options. Number two may be even more important. I hope we’ve been a good example for you of a loving family. That being said, there is NO hurry to find that girl. God will help you with that.  That leads me to number 3.

Puerto Vallarta Mexico 2014

Puerto Vallarta Mexico 2014

3) Go to church. Regularly. Don’t just be a “C and E (Christmas and Easter)”, but be there way more often than not. This may be even more important during college, when it may not be so easy to do, especially if your roommates are all sleeping in on Sunday. It’s vital to nourish your spiritual life as well as your physical life. Speaking of your physical life, let’s look at number 2.

Christmas Eve 2013

Christmas Eve 2013

2) Take care of your body. Do not let yourself get out of shape. It’s not feasible to stay in the condition you have been in for the last several years while swimming, but it’s important to keep those good habits of regular exercise so you don’t gain the infamous “Freshman 15” or whatever it is these days. This may sound trite, but those habits you form now will be lifelong. Take a look at the health of your ancestors. Do what you can so you can be healthier than all of us.

1) Go to class. These last 3 are especially geared towards your time in college. If you forget all the others, please remember these. I purposely tried to keep them simple. I really do believe if you follow those 3, all other things in college will fall in line.

Enough with the advice. You are ready for anything, and I’m confident you are going on to do great things. I can’t begin to describe how much I’m going to miss you. Recently, we all watched a movie one night (one of my favorite things to do with you), and I tweeted about how I knew there weren’t many days left like that. A friend who has gone through this stage told me that those days still happen and they are even cooler because the relationship evolves to something different. That being said, I will miss my “boy”, but look forward to watching the man you are going to be. Even if you aren’t my “boy”, I’ll always be your Dad and just a phone call or text away. I love you.

Prom 2014

Prom 2014

Me and the kids in the summer of 06

Me and the kids in the summer of 06

The Town That Built Me

Apologies to Miranda Lambert for the title of this post, but it just seemed to fit.  I’ll share a little of my background.  I grew up in a small rural town in Northeast Kansas with a population of about 1000 people.  My graduating class had 28 people.  There were 5 school districts in our county- that will be 3 next year as the others have consolidated leaving my town as the lone remnant of a community district in the area.  Although I only live about 15 miles away, I don’t often make it back to Troy  these days.  My parents live about 5 miles outside of town towards me, and my in-laws no longer live there.  My wife’s grandmother still lives there, but it’s the rare occasion that we make it over since she comes to our church in our town.  Weddings and funerals are about the only reason I go home, other than the annual Alumni Basketball Tournament (24 straight years and counting- it’s more about keeping the streak alive than winning these days).  The death of my friend’s grandma took me back home this week.

First Baptist Church

First Baptist Church

Funerals tend to make me fairly contemplative, and this one definitely had that effect.  The service was in my boyhood church, the First Baptist Church.  Few things have changed since I was a kid there.  As I grew older, I quit going there and attended church with my then-girlfriend/now-wife and am now a Lutheran.  Being in the pew, hearing many of the same things I heard as a kid, took me back in time.  The pastor encouraged everyone who hadn’t already done so to ask Jesus to be their Savior (something that happened for me in one of those pews in 1981, literally a few feet from where I sat Tuesday).  The hymns were familiar, being sung by the daughter-in-law of the woman who had passed.  She often sang when I was a kid.  Her voice was just as sweet as I had remembered it.  The piano was played by the same man.  The funeral was for a woman who had been a pillar of our church and had a large family that networked throughout the community.  Their family was intertwined with mine throughout life.  She had 14 grandchildren, many of whom I either attended school with or coached when they were in school.  After the funeral, I decided to take a drive around town and take a few pictures as this blog was already simmering in my head.

 

Tall Oak- Peter Toth

Tall Oak- Peter Toth

After the funeral, I drove down Main Street.  It truly is the primary street in Troy.  As a kid, we “cruised” up and down it- of course, gas was 80 cents a gallon.  The county Courthouse is there, across the street from the home that Abraham Lincoln allegedly spent a night in during his campaign. This is also where both banks and the only restaurant, bar, and doctor in town are housed.  Additionally, it  has the post office and the county jail.  The large Indian sculpture was carved by Peter Toth from a large oak tree.  He’s carved one in all 50 states, and I remember when he and his wife lived in a tent on the courthouse lawn for several months one summer as he completed the sculpture.  The courthouse square now also has the memorial to Don Clary, a young man taken too early while heroically serving in Iraq.  His is another family that my life has been criss-crossed with.  The flags were flying in honor of Memorial Day.  Troy’s Main Street is unique but similar to several others in town, in that they are brick.  Many a young person has passed an evening sitting on the wall on the courthouse square.

 

Donald L. Harter Attendance Center

Donald L. Harter Attendance Center

I drove a little more, coming to what used to be Troy Grade School- now the Donald Harter Attendance Center.  Mr. Harter was my grade school principal, my first basketball coach, and one of the biggest influences in my life.  He would open the gym on Saturday nights and allow us to come in and play, giving me a postive outlet for energy that might have gotten me in trouble.  I spoke with him after the funeral, giving him a big hug as he gave me the same greeting he always does, “Hello, Number 22!”   my number in school.  His influence on generations of kids in Troy is beyond measure.  He is the standard I often use to measure my service to others, and fall miserably short.  The world would be better if we all lived a life of servant leadership like Donald Harter.

 

2A State Champions

2A State Champions

I continued on over to the High School and Middle School.  Both are fairly non-descript buildings, but hold many memories.  The plaque on the gym reminds community members of the magical 1984 basketball season in which the team went 25-0 and won the state tournament.  I was fortunate enough to be a freshman on that team and be along for the ride.  I’m sure there’s a book about the “Cardiac Kids” that I need to write some day.  The community literally picked up and moved to Topeka during the title run, it would have been a great time to be a thief in Troy,  because nobody was there.  After we’d won, there were dinners and celebrations in honor of the team.  We were all given symbolic keys to the city and named Grand Trojans (or something like that-it’s been a long time).  A lot of my blood, sweat, and tears were left behind in that gymnasium.  The time spent there kept me from a lot of trouble and the lessons learned there shaped the person I am today.  I drove  around to the football field, where the “Welcome to Trojan Country” sign adorns the bus barn.  I still can smell the grass and wet dirt coming up through my face mask while stretching before practice or a game.  Friday nights, it’s the only show in town, small town football really is king, even if it’s never had the success of basketball.  As an option quarterback, I still think people should run it more 😉

Welcome to Trojan Country

Welcome to Trojan Country

Troy Armory

Troy Armory

I drove on a little more, past the National Guard Armory.  A few years ago, the state decided that they didn’t need so many units in so many places, so they closed the unit in Troy.  It was a sad time for many people in the community as many had served in Vietnam as members of the unit, and others, more recently, in Iraq and other places in more recent deployments.  An old tank has been sitting out front ever since I was a kid.  There used to be a jet plane also.  I served as a member of a Kansas Army National Guard Field Artillery unit for 9 years, several of them at the unit in Troy.  It now serves as a Head Start facility, so it still has great value to the community.

Troy Pool

Troy Pool

I continued on around town, past the community pool.  Leaders in the town had enough foresight in the early 70’s to build this.  It seemed huge when I was a kid.  When I was a kid, I would leave home in the morning with a towel and my swim trunks attached to my bike handlebars with a rubber band.  I’d spend most of the morning either at the ball field (which I drove by and took a picture of, also) or at the grade school playing ball on the playground.  When the pool opened at 1:00, we were there waiting.  I’d go home at 4:30 or 5:00, when it closed for the one hour adult swim.  My parents never worried about me, I didn’t call to check in, and I didn’t have a cell phone.  We didn’t know what the internet or video games were (well, maybe Donkey Kong at the drive-in).  We used our minds to come up with something to occupy our time.  We weren’t obese, not because there was some program to keep us active at school, but because we PLAYED all the time.  The world really was a different place then.  The idea of my kids leaving in the morning and me not making contact at some point for 8 hours just seems crazy now.  That probably lent a lot to some sense of independence.  We learned to compromise and work out conflicts without the aid of adults, even if the only solution was for me to say, “I’m going home and leaving you with an odd number,” if the arguing became too much.  My friends still make fun of me for that to this day, but it usually settled the fight.

Baseball field- grade school on hill

Baseball field- grade school on hill

Then I drove by the house I lived in growing up. We lived there until 5th grade, when my parents moved us to the country.  I slept upstairs with my 3 siblings.  My older brother and sister each had a bedroom on each side of the stairs, and my younger sister and I had a bunk bed in the landing area between them.  We had one bathroom for 6 people.  We didn’t have air conditioning, we’d open windows in each of their bedrooms and one would have a fan pulling in, one would have a fan blowing out, to create a little air flow.  The landing area I slept in had a window, but it didn’t open.  It was hot, but we survived.  I’m sure people would now think it was cruel and unusual.  Lots of memories are attached to that house.  Some really good, some not so much.  Just like the pool, it seemed a lot bigger when I was a kid.

The HOUSE that built me

The HOUSE that built me

John's Market

John's Market

As I left town, I drove by John’s Market- that used to be Knapp’s Grocery store.  Troy used to actually have two grocery stores.  It’s a blessing that they are still supporting one.  The store was just behind our house down the alley.  When it snowed and they would pile the snow at the edges of the parking lot, we’d make forts in the piles.  I’d take bottles that I found around town  to the store to collect the deposits. I’m sure some of the younger people reading this have NO idea what that even means.  I bagged ice to make a little money as a kid.  When I started high school, I was hired to work there.  I worked there all through high school and part of college.  The Simpson family was very good to me.  John’s son, John-Michael, now runs the store.  I worked there with Jeff, Julia, and John-Michael.  They each own a store now, Julia in Eudora, KS and Jeff in Baldwin City, KS.  One of the best learning experiences I had in the store was going to work on Saturday mornings after a football game, especially if it had been a particularly bad one on Friday night and I’d thrown a couple of interceptions.  The fans at Troy games stand on the track and are literally about 6 feet from the players.  Having four-letter words thrown at you by adults with a few beers in them was NOT uncommon.  Having to be nice to the same people on Saturday morning as you sacked their groceries was a good life-lesson, in fact, I think it helped shape how I now deal with unreasonable parents but maintain a professional demeanor with them 🙂

Troy was a good place to grow up.  I really don’t have any desire to  live there now, and that’s not a knock on the town.  I’ve been used to living somewhere different for a long time, and if things had gone differently, I might still live there.  I applied for a job teaching middle school science in Troy right out of college.  The superintendent at the time felt like they had been hiring too many local people to teach, so he wanted to hire someone else.  If he’d hired me, I would probably still be teaching science there and trying to recreate the 1984 season as a coach.  As often is the case in life, things work out how they are supposed to.  The experiences I had as a kid in Troy shaped me, made me who I am.  I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Main Street

Main Street

Class of 2011: Parting Thoughts- 7 for ’11

As I write this, the CHS Class of 2011 has been gone from our halls for a little over a week.  I’ve spent countless hours with many of you.  Conversely, with some of you, I’ve rarely had the occasion for us to have a coversation.  One of the parts of my job that has been hard for me to reconcile is that sometimes, a kid makes it through four years here and we never connect.  The student that mostly likely slips by me like this is the one who has 2011 Grad Programaverage to slightly above average grades, might not be in very many extra-curriclular activities, and isn’t a student who gets sent to the office on a regular basis.  Based upon sheer numbers and time, we just never cross paths much.  That being said, here are a few pieces of advice I’d like to pass along to the Class of 2011, to the ones that I never had the opportunity to speak with a lot, and also to the ones that I spoke to a lot, but maybe they weren’t in the listening mode.  Apologies to those who have heard these words repeated in the past four years.  I hope that some of these words are taken to heart:

1)  The two most important decisions you will make as far as happiness in life are your choice of career and your choice of who you spend your life with.  Those choices can be sources of great happiness, or they can literally suck the joy out of life for you.  Choose wisely.

2)  Related to #1, education and training do one important thing for you:  they give you options.  If you are qualified to do many different jobs, you have more options to leave a job if it is not one that makes you happy in life.  A high school diploma gives you more opportunities than being a drop out.  A bachelors degree gives you more.  Technical training gives you more.  Take every opportunity to give yourself more options.

3)  Find a way to serve others.  This can be in your career, your church, your community; there are many ways to achieve this.  Living a life where you give back to others has many benefits to you.  Not the least of them, you make this a better place to live.  Don’t hesitate to take up a cause you feel strongly about.  Share your gifts with others, even if it is something small.  Your heart will feel better knowing you have given to others.

4)  Be open to change.  This one isn’t easy.  Change isn’t always fun, but it’s a symptom of growth.  Be willing to try new things.  Expand your horizons by trying something different.  You may be surprised how much you learn about yourself.

5)  Live without regret.  Regret is a wasted emotion.  Regret can be caused by something you’ve done (comission) or something you’ve let go undone (omission).  Do your best to make sure that down the road, you don’t look back and say, “I wish I would have . . .”  That is a truly tragic feeling, work to exclude it from your lives.

6)  Don’t be afraid of Plan B.  You may have your life all mapped out as you leave high school.  Your interests may change.  When I started college I was pre-med, and I was going to be an orthopedic surgeon.  I decided I didn’t want to go to school that long, so I took a different career path.  Ironically, I completed my last schooling at the age of 40, and I’m really at peace with the path I’ve taken.  Plan B might be superior to Plan A in many ways.

7)  Finally, ignore everything on this list.  The most important piece of advice I can give you is this:  find what works for you.  Don’t be locked into Books and Capsomeone else’s plan for you.  Steal the ideas that work for you, discard the ones that don’t- that’s what great coaches do, they steal the good stuff, leave the other behind.  Approach your life that way.  If something you pick up here resonates with you, use it.  If it’s all “jibber-jabber”, toss it in the trash.  You know yourself better than anyone else.  To paraphrase from Dr. Seuss, nobody is more youer than you. 

Best wishes as you head out into the world.  I’m hopeful that we’ve helped by giving  you the right scaffolding to build amazing and extraordinary lives.  Make the world the place you want it to be.  YOU CAN DO THIS!

How Did I End Up With a Teenage Daughter?

I’m diverting a little of my normal writing to pause and reflect a bit as a momentous occasion occurs in the life of one of my children.  This Friday, my daughter, Alison, will turn 13.  Truthfully, she’s mature and wise beyond her years-she’s been a teenager in many ways for awhile, and that scares me at times.  I’m not sure where time has gone;  it seems that one day she was this cute little toddler following her brother around the house, having him read books to her, and the next, she was a cell phone-toting guitar player and all-around social butterfly.  Her talent makes dad pretty proud.  Here’s a recent video clip:

Ali- “Rocketeer”

and one of her and her friends singing the national anthem at the Women’s Division II Basketball Semi-finals:

A team anthem

Alison with her new braces

Alison with her new braces

I tried to recall my 13th birthday- that would have been August in 1982.  I was just beginning my 8th grade year.  School might have started that day, it often was a “great” birthday present for me.  I’m sure it was a big day, but I don’t remember any details about that day.  I know I had grown 6 inches between 7th and 8th grade, so I’m sure my knees hurt.  I also was preparing to have surgery on a hernia that the doctor found when I got my sports physical, making me unable to play football in 8th grade.  I served as the team manager that year, so I could still be around the team and throw a football around at practice.  Times have changed- not sure many kids who were used to being one of the best athletes would agree to be a manager now.  I’m sure that Duran Duran, Def Leppard, Van Halen, and Michael Jackson were getting equal play time in my tape recorder.  Saturday Night Live was probably my favorite TV show, that and Friday Night Videos.  Again, I don’t remember the details, just a large “overall feeling” of that time.

Ali being a goofball at Christmas 08

Ali being a goofball at Christmas 08

Lots of things were still ahead of me at that point, just like they are now for Ali.  I think of all the things I hadn’t experienced yet at that point in life:

  • my first serious girlfriend
  • success and failure athletically
  • losing a grandparent
  • my dad losing his job and being in the hospital
  • dating my future wife
  • becoming a father

I know that those happy things in life and those equally difficult ones lie ahead for her.  Part of the hard part of being a parent is knowing when to help her through and knowing when she needs to deal with them on her own.  I’m an admittedly emotional person when it comes to sentimental things.  I know that I’ll cry on her wedding day.  I know that I’ll cry the day she leaves home.  Why wouldn’t I, I cried the day she was born.  Two songs were playing on TV while she was being born: Garth Brooks “The River” and Shania Twain “Love Gets Me Everytime”- the line about “gone and done it”.  Often, Ali makes me think that we’ve “gone and done it” when I get frustrated with her making normal 12 year-old mistakes.  Guess I’ll just have to get used to the teenage ones now 🙂

Me and the kids in the summer of 06

Me and the kids in the summer of 06

Happy birthday, baby girl.  I know you will “sail your vessel til the river runs dry” in a way like none other.  I hope we’ve given you the right life lessons on how to keep it between the shores.  Enjoy this time in life.  It goes by faster than you can imagine.  I hope you are more able to remember the details than your old man.  You probably won’t remember what gifts you get, or maybe even what you did for this birthday, but always remember this “overall feeling” about your 13th birthday; your dad loves you very much.