I can remember it as vividly as if it just happened yesterday. My wife woke me from a deep sleep and told me she was having contractions and that I should probably go take a shower, she thought it was time to go to the hospital. She seemed pretty calm and led me to believe it was not necessarily urgent, but it was time to get around to head that way.
While I was in the shower, she said “Don’t piddle in there, I think we need to get moving.” Suddenly things seemed much more urgent, especially since we lived about 30 minutes from the hospital. We got in the car, met my in-laws at the hospital where they took our son Alex, and headed in. Barely 30 minutes later, as the songs “Gone and Done It” by Shania Twain and “The River” by Garth Brooks played, Alison Marie completed our family. Literally, it feels like I blinked and the time has flown as my baby girl turns 18 Friday.
I haven’t blogged for nearly 2 years, but I felt this occasion deserved a post- and so much more. As a daughter, Ali has been such a gift from God. She is smart, funny, talented, wise beyond her years, and best of all, I think she still likes me most days. As a parent, we always love our kids and vice versa, but some days I’m not sure we “like’ each other. I’ve been lucky in that even as we prepare to send her off to college in a few months, we like each other most days. As much as I know she’s ready for the next phase of life, and that her mom and I are, too- when I pause, the memories flood my mind. The memories of taking her to dance (which she hated) and to gymnastics (which she loved). The memories of us laying in bed, laughing…just because the other one was laughing..and then not being able to stop. Her playing with Skip. The sounds of her singing and playing her guitar or keyboard from the other room. The memories at Disney, in Minnesota, in Colorado,in California, and most of all, in Mexico. She is my kindred spirit when it comes to our love of the beach. One day in Mexico, she told her older brother, “Come on, we are going to go make friends.” I knew then and there that she was going to be okay in life. I can’t even begin to tell you how much I’m going to miss watching KU basketball or Chiefs games with her.
As I write this, I need to make sure Ali knows how much I love her and how I can’t imagine our lives without her. When I said she completed our family, that wasn’t just a phrase. It was so true. She is the moderator when things are tense, the funny comment when people are down, and has such a good caring heart, that I often wonder how she could be from my genes. It must be her mother’s genes taking over. I know that she is a far better person than I am, and I aspire to be like her many days.
As much as she has it “all together”, I can’t pass up this opportunity to offer advice. I won’t go on and on, but will offer just a few nuggets:
- Call your Mom after you move out. A lot. She and your Dad need you more than we will ever admit.
- Keep your good relationship with your brother. Someday Mom and I won’t be here. You two will need each other, even if it requires you to nag him a bit.
- No matter what happens in life, keep your kind heart and your caring spirit for other people and animals. Being nice is a lost art. You are good at it. There is a Tim McGraw song called “Humble and Kind”. Stay that way.
- Don’t regret in life. Make decisions based upon the best information you have at the time, but don’t regret things in the past. It’s a wasted emotion. Instead, use it to guide later decisions.
- Never stay with a man who doesn’t treat you like the most important person in the world. You deserve to be loved by someone who feels that way about you. I hope I’ve modeled that for you with your Mom.
- Don’t stop singing. Whether as a hobby or something else, your gift is the soundtrack to so many good times in my life. It makes your Dad so happy to hear you singing.
I’ll close by wishing you a happy birthday. I know your life is going to change in so many ways over the next year. I am so excited about what the future holds for you, even as I am a little sad that our time together is drawing to a close. As a good friend once told me, I won’t lose you, our relationship will just evolve into something a little different. And I know that will still be something really good. I just have to be careful to not blink so I don’t miss it. Love you more than you could ever know. Dad.