Where Have I Been? Where Has Time Gone?

It’s taken me a long time to start this post.  I’ve not blogged in a VERY long time.  There are a lot of reasons, but they are really excuses.  And just like I was told as a kid, excuses are like rear ends- every body has one and they all stink. Truthfully, I feel like I’m coming out of a funk a bit and that may be what is bringing me back to writing. I probably should have been doing it all along, but even the therapeutic benefits of writing weren’t enough to get me here.  Nevertheless, I am here, writing again.

To help you understand why I’ve been gone so long, I have to share some personal bits from last year.  Last year may have been the most difficult year in my professional career.  That’s not really true.  The word “may” leaves open the possibility there may have been a harder one.  Last year was without a doubt the hardest year.  It was a year of turmoil and of change, two things that I don’t generally seek out.  Our superintendent resigned, as did our assistant superintendent, and our director of assessment took a job in another district. Our district eliminated our technology specialists positions causing a long-time friend to leave the district, a friend who had actually lured me to this district 15 years ago. My building principal, someone I had been an administrator with for 10 years, took a position in another district.  Succinctly put, many of us felt unsure of where things were headed and had no idea who would be leading.

Once my building principal took another job, I was then again disappointed when the district chose another person to lead our building. It was a difficult time, and I’m sure as hard as things were for me, they were harder for my wife and kids at the time. I am confident that we have moved beyond that, and I am enjoying a great relationship with my new principal. Our new superintendent has implemented a few new ideas that match my philosophical beliefs, so he has been an easy person to follow and respect. Honestly, I have a new-found sense of renewal this year, and I’m sure my attitude and performance are improved from last year.  It was a tough time- but it’s in the rear view mirror.  I’ve often told my son as he practiced swimming, that the discomfort he felt when he was pushing really hard, that was when  he was experiencing true growth. I’m not sure I ever want to experience so much “growth” at once again.  I hope that I was able to provide a life-lesson for him on how to deal with disappointment and turmoil. Maybe we are all better for it.

Speaking of my son, that may touch on another reason why I’ve been hesitant to write again.  My son is now 3 weeks into his senior year. I know that this year will be filled with many “last times” as the weeks rapidly click by. I know that in roughly two months,  his high school swimming career will be over. I’ve tried not to think about how my time with him is running out. I know he is ready to move to the next step in life, and I am confident his mother and I have done all we can to prepare him- and I think we’ve done well.  That doesn’t make this next step in life any easier. As an administrator, I’ve often worried or felt guilt that I’ve taken time from my own kids to spend with other people’s kids. Jimmy Casas and I recently had a brief conversation about that. I pray that my kids have never felt like Dad wasn’t present for them. I just know that I need to appreciate every moment of this year with my son.  I hope that he has an amazing senior year and that someday when he has his own kids, he will be able to comprehend the love I have for him. With that being said, I close this long-avoided blog with this quote about time:

Waste your money and you’re only out of money, but waste your time and you’ve lost a part of your life.

Michael LeBoeuf